The 2 weeks to come will be pretty stressful.

I have to go through Math tutorial, Chem tutorial and Physics tutorial and Econs notes myself because I missed those lessons. Other than those, there are several GP tasks to complete throughout the whole of this week. And there's PW that is due next week and it takes up so much time. Work aside, there's class Learning Journey on Wednesday, Floorball IHC is on Tuesday and I might be taking part in some Track/Field IHC. To add on, there are Econs and Chem tests on Tuesday, Math test on Thursday, and GP test on Friday. Not forgetting that PW Individual EOM consultation is probably next week so I have to find a suitable article + do the write-up by then too.

Wow. ):

Floorball season is over. Played our last match against NJ today and it was a well-fought match. I'm glad we ended off the season pretty well, and that we got another chance to play after the YJ match(which was played really really really horrendously).

Focus on what's to come, instead of what has gone by and is impossible to change.

Well done, RJFloorball!



Ah, so much work accumulated over the weeks. )):

Deserted again.
You speak to me through the shadows.
Walking in closed rooms, using cold words.
Captured by the night.
The yearning escapes from my embrace.

Strange silhouettes whisper your thoughts, scream your sadness.
And they all turned away,
unable to face more of this death.

Credence in my word.
Written in dust, tainted by memories.
I confess my hope, recognize my loneliness.

Your laughter weeps the truth.
Push me into corners.
Confirming the epitaph of my soul
and displaying the once unknown karma.



I can't believe it all had to end up like this. I was just thinking about it, and suddenly it dawned upon me and it all made sense. And it took so long for me to realise that. I'm so dense. I can't stand it. I feel so sorry that it became like this. It was my fault. I probably deserved it anyway. I want to fix it. Yet I can't bring myself to. Can't even bring myself to start with that tiny action.

And now I'm reduce to putting it down in this space where hardly anyone reads. Stuck in a pit with a ladder. I know how to get out, yet it's so hard to.

I just..
Can't.

Can't seem to catch up on the lectures and tutorials I've missed since the start of the season. Maybe I'm not using my time efficiently enough.

Work aside, I'm so glad that I finally managed to say it. I can almost feel that heavy feeling in my mind lighten up already. : )




Heal myself-a feather on my heart
Look inside-there never was a start
Peel myself-dispose of severed skin
All subsides-around me and within

I know not the words to make you stay
Yet they are engraved on your face
This secret language I cannot speak
Only whisper on the breeze

Deep within me
Life’s crawling and wasting my days
Another night gone and I know there will be another way
I’m leading myself to be free
In this eternal goodbye

And i don't know
Why you feel so bad
Where is the life you once had?
And still this horrid feeling grows and grows
The way you want it to

Icy roads beneath my feet
Led me through wastelands of deceit
Rest your head now, don't you cry
Don't ever ask the reason why

I had a terrible nightmare.

I was in this fenced up area of a really dark forest, and there was this disgusting creature-human thing with super wrinkled-up and blood-all-over skin and really sharp teeth pursuing me. It was this strange screwed-up hide and seek game where the monster and I took turns to take 5 steps each, counting aloud. I was gradually losing at it cause it was evident that the monster was getting closer and closer to me.

Then I came to this scene where the monster and I were on the same bridge already (I was at the end and it was at the start). And suddenly out of the blue this.. group of mysterious beings cloaked in white approached the monster and just.. brushed past it. And then it was back to getting away from the monster again. The last thing that happened before I woke up was that I was hiding in this cupboard in this abandoned house and the monster opening the cupboard.

I went back to sleep again and I redreamt the bridge scene. This time, all the white people except one brushed past the gargoyle and that one white person actually confronted the monster and helped me to stall time. The white person eventually got owned but still enabled me to buy some time. The last thing I remember was wondering whether I should find a better place to hide, or to phone someone for help.

If I keep getting more of these crazy dreams frequently, I think I'm going to die in my sleep. D:

I, once upon a time
Carried a burden inside
I sung a last goodbye
A broken rhyme I had underlined
There's an ocean of sorrow in you

A sorrow in me

I saw a movement in their eyes
That said I no longer knew the way
I had given up the ghost
A passive mind submit to fear
And the wait for redemption at hand

Waiting to fail
Failing again

If death should take me now
Count my mistakes and let me through
Whisper in my ear
You have taken more than we've received
And the ocean of sorrow is you